When You Lose Money In The Dreamstate

Lately I've been seeing snakes in the grass, and I was told that this means other people are 'stabbing me in the back.'  Then in the dreamstate, I was giving an extended family member money.  I'm pretty sure that when giving someone money in the dreamstate, this means 'soul energy' is being taken.

The soul energy being taken from me is others feeling better about themselves and boosting their 'egos' by comparing themselves to me, with me being a 'failure,' and/or 'monster,' and/or 'ultimate loser,' and so forth.  In the dreamstate this time around, this was a certain cousin taking my money.  (Money can be given freely to help others in the dreamstate, but I keep getting tricked into giving money away.  It can be taken by force as well.)

Regarding my extended family, I was humiliated when young.  I was called the "punching bag of the family."  Later in life, this manifests in other ways, being exploited to the maximum.  Some members of the extended family take my side, while others continue to stab me in the back.  

(Virtually all of my extended family members went along with 'deep state agendas,' falling for the vax campaign and so forth.)

The humiliation continues but the magick of it all is I don't care what anyone thinks of me, and it's probably just a matter of being exploited by the cabal for their selfish benefit.  The cabal rape children, but the attention is on me, when obviously I would never harm a child in any way.

I have extended family members who are quite wealthy and successful, and I'm regarded as a complete loser by comparison, and have been treated as an outcast since childhood.

I was also molested as a child, but not by an adult.  (It's a long story.)

I've also been raped in the dreamstate many times - my navel would be 'assaulted,' although this doesn't happen anymore.

I have every reason to commit suicide because I'm unhappy with my job and seriously don't want to go full time, and the dreamstate is absolutely horrible lately, and 'life just sucks right now,' but I will not kill myself, because I know that's what 'they' want.  Justice may not be served in my lifetime, but maybe, just maybe, I can outlive my enemies. 

However, the (unconfirmed but I can feel it) cancer in my stomach/liver area may kill me if the stress makes it too active.  I've been keeping it at bay for several years but it's getting much worse.  It's like the life gets sucked out of me every time it 'comes around.'  I'll have to keep trying to find ways to manage it - the suffering it's created is on a level I cannot describe.  I guess the motto "tough shit" only goes so far.

Message to those who take from me and stab me in the back or target me outside my extended family: This will fall back on you and I look forward to your deaths.  Extended family members who have been stabbing me in the back:  This will fall back on you.  I will cut you off forever.  I don't care if you die.  I'm not just saying that.  I hate you.  You have been nothing  but fucking assholes from the beginning, and I'm done with you.  (Well, I was a pretty rowdy kid, buy yeah, basically.)

Happy fucking Birthday to me.