Why I Make So Many Posts and a PrepareForChange Conflict

The reason I write so many posts all at once is because I'm often bombarded by thought-forms.  I'll be at my place of work and have a huge idea for something to write, and it drives me crazy because I can't be at home to write it.   I don't write so many posts for quantity.  I'm not going for quantity at all, because it's quality that counts.  I'd like to think that my posts are high quality as well, lol!  I'll let other people be the judge.  

My telepathy (or schizophrenia?) is out of control.  I'll even get angry at someone because I heard a negative thought-form from them about me, or I thought it might have been from them about me, lol!  It's that bad.  There are times when I wake up in the morning and I hear so many thought-forms I feel like I'm going insane.  

I am really into Eckhart Tolle's material because he states that people are not their thoughts.  Imagine the significance this has to someone like me who is not only bombarded with his own internal noise, but also the internal noise of other people!  What I really need is silence.  Me, one of the most noisy people, needs silence.  It would be so nice to have just one day where everything just shuts up.  With Eckhart's material, I can access silence.  

The noise can get so bad that yes, I even have found myself wanting humanity to perish, just so I can have silence.  I'm sorry that I get this way, but the noise can be unbearable.  Then I get curious and want to hear even more, and see more, and then I do, but I often don't like what I hear and see. 😅 

(When my telepathy is correct, it means I'm telepathic.  When my telepathy is incorrect, it means I'm schizophrenic.  Maybe it's a combination?)

Anyway, there was some drama I had with PrepareForChange.  There was a post that I didn't want to go up that said Cobra censored one of my comments when the comment was surprisingly not censored at a later time.  I requested the post not go through about two days prior to it being posted.  Then I flipped out when it was posted.  Then PFC became upset with me for flipping out, which is understandable.  Then I apologized, but my intuition is telling me that they are fed up with me and no longer want anything to do with me.  If they don't, then ok.  I think that's a bit harsh, because I haven't flipped out on them before.  But if they feel this way, ok.  I've had many posts go up on PFC, and it's been great to be a part of this.  It's a shame if things end this way.  Maybe they won't though.  Time will tell.  

If I am ostracized, then I won't allow this to become my 'life story.'  A part of my 'life story' from childhood was that I would be the bad kid everyone loved to hate.  There were times when I brought it on myself and other times not, but everyone banned together to make me the villain, just like in a movie.  This made matters simple for everyone else.  They got to feel included because I was the one who was excluded.  

Maybe I will go sit in a corner and cry because 'everyone hates me,' or I can be present and not feed into this 'life story,' knowing myself beyond this life story, as a person's life story is not who they really are - it's all just programming to entrap - this is another aspect Eckhart discusses.  

Furthermore regarding PrepareForChange, I picked up that they need more volunteers.  Or, it was at least something relating to volunteers.  Perhaps those at PFC get frustrated when people like myself get riled up, as they have a great deal on their plate already.  That is what my intuition told me this morning.  I heard a thought-form about volunteers.  PFC comes up with great material, and people (including myself) should not take it for granted.  A great amount of work goes into PFC.