Why The Lurker Always Fails (Updated)
I'm able to know what others want and post it, like I did with the latest comment of the music video on 2012 Portal. What really struck me about this music video, in addition to the interesting lyrics, is that the people are all looking up into the sky. It can easily be interpreted that they are looking at the Light Forces. I enjoy finding material to inspire people like this.
But for myself, it's possible that not even the LF/RM would accept me. The main message I'm picking up is that only Source accepts me. Maybe I'm so messed up inside that there can only be a relationship between myself and Source, along with all the portals to Source. With other humans, I fake virtually all of my behaviors. I live a lie with them, so maybe it would be the same with positive Ets.
I can't help but feel this way: I'm not into soul groups, soul families, twin flames, and so on. None of that resonates with me anymore. I regard myself as a total reject by them all, but I'm not hurt by this. I accept this, because I know that Source doesn't reject me. I know that Source would not have created me if I was a mistake. It feels like Source, but only Source, can love me.
Regarding Sebastian's latest post, I'm neither for nor against. It's possible to not be a black sphere, nor a white sphere.
I've been asking myself this question: Can I stand before Source alone, with absolutely no one else having my back? Over several years of being so isolated and alone, my answer is a resounding Yes.
Maybe some of what I'm saying is the Lurker messing with me, but even if it is the Lurker, the Lurker always fails, because I can bypass all relationships and go straight to Source. And in so doing, I can still be cordial to others and contribute in various ways.
Here's another way of putting it: Cobra said the Lurker's two main places of hiding are sexual traumas and relationship traumas. I don't define myself by my sexuality, nor by my relationships with others. I know that the real me is beyond both - I strongly feel that Source told me so - to the deepest parts of myself. It doesn't mean I don't try to improve in these two areas, but the eternal aspect of myself can never be ensnared within them. What the Lurker is after is always out of reach.
Update:
After writing this post, a powerful darkness came to me to try to compromise my connection to Source. I responded by returning to the Violet Flame, and now all is well.
The Violet Flame
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