Updated: A Soft Restart

Update 12/04: I was having a very difficult time when writing this post, but I'll leave it, because there is an element of truth to be found.  (I'm feeling more optimistic now.)

All that is false is removed.

All evil that has been done shall be undone. 

All that is true remains.

Victory of the Light.

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There are those who have not committed crimes against humanity, but, like many members of the cabal, may need to go to the Galactic Central Sun for a complete restart.  These ones are not evil, but they have become damaged and mutated to such an extent that the best option is a restart.

There may also be the option of doing a 'soft restart,' where the current life is deleted, but the rest of the being remains intact.  And/Or, various negative past lives are deleted, and the more positive past lives remain intact.  This may be an option for lightworkers who have been abused in this lifetime (and possibly other lifetimes) to such an extent that healing is no longer possible, but wiping the lifetime(s) away can allow them to continue their development with a much cleaner state.

Personally, I want to start over.  This current life has not been a total disaster, but ever since the age of 18 or so onward, my life began to become distorted.  Also, with all of the metaphysical attacks upon me over the years, with countless forms of abuse I'd rather not be specific on, this has become another mess on top of the mess that is my life in the waking state.  In my case, I feel that there are too many problems/distortions that are too severe to heal.

The reason I like Eckhart Tolle's books and lectures so much is that he says only the Now exists.  In the Now, I can experience relief from the extreme amount and severity of abuse that has plagued my adult life.  The only clarity I can ever have is when I am in the present moment, set free from the bondage of past abuse and distortions.  Yet of course, all the other 'stuff' keeps coming back.

I really wanted to make a positive difference, and maybe I have, but this came at a price.   

I don't believe in a victim mentality, but I do believe in solutions.  It's not a solution to be perpetually tormented.  It is a solution to have a soft restart.  

I have been focusing on clearing entities with the Buddhic Column, and have experienced a recent success, but I'm also realizing that it's too late - too much damage has already been done.  I could be incorrect - maybe my current life is not beyond repair.  Yet, even if I could heal, I feel that others will always look down upon me, and as much as I like to think that I don't care what others think of me, human nature says otherwise.  I feel that I would be stuck for all eternity with guilt and shame as my only companions, and that is simply unacceptable.  Perhaps there's something I'm not seeing though.