I'm Sorry

At this point I will have to completely stop looking at any and all media/news, including alternative media for a while.  I know that people may tell me I'm putting my head in the sand, but my physical body cannot handle anymore 'fight or flight' reactions.  I am not able to handle what I'm seeing.  Just for a while - possibly until the end of the diabolical Pluto square Eris configuration, I need to forget about everything.  During this time, maybe I can be more effective with meditations and so forth, because when seeing all the negative news, I am consumed with fear and anger, rendering me powerless.

I know that there are ways to be more detached and 'take a step back' while looking at various media, but the level of severity of bad news is so extreme that this is no longer possible, at least for me.  People can say that I'm weak if they like.  Maybe I am.  Sorry, but I can go no further.  My body will just start shutting down from the stress if I keep looking at any kind of news.  Maybe others are stronger than I am and can handle it.  

If I can become happy again, I need to be careful.  It's their favorite thing to do to hurt people by surprise who are happy.  It hurts so much more when someone is happy and then something really bad happens to them.  That's at least been the pattern with my life.  I'm open to my life not having to be this way anymore though.  Either way, I won't let my guard down, but I can go no further with the news.  

When it reaches the point of sabotaging my 'spiritual development' (this is a cliche term but I can't think of any other term to use),  I have to let go.  

I have to discipline myself as well.  There will be temptations to look at various media.  It's going to take a great amount of effort and will power just to stop looking, as I have a tendency to be obsessive.

I wrote articles such as "Let's Talk About Loosh."  Now it's time to live by my words.

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