Vadim Zeland's "Reality Transurfing" Notes and Summaries, Chapters 1-3

These are notes and summaries of the first 3 and a half hours of listening to the Reality Transurfing audiobook.  The notes and summaries are a combination of direct quotes and summations in my own words.  This is only a fraction of the material.  This is a huge undertaking, but I'm motivated enough to see it through.  I hope that the length of this post is not a turn-off.  Here goes:

It's not a matter of changing oneself.  It's a matter of returning to oneself.

Mistakes can be made right.

Every theory of reality is but only one aspect.

Scripts cannot be changed, but they can be chosen.  Choose scripts that are to one's liking.

To escape a pendulum, be neutral towards it, and then ignore it.  Focus on something else, not in a way to directly avoid the pendulum, but with a 'neither here nor there' mentality.

Being empty inside stops pendulums from hooking into oneself.  This is why Eckhart Tolle's works benefit people.  Being present beyond thoughts disentangles people from pendulums.  

Focusing on what one hates only brings more of what one hates, because hating something is focusing on it, which gives it energy.

If someone is behaving in a menacing manner toward oneself, don't react.  Work with them in a way that steers them in a desired direction.  Visualize them getting better in various ways.

In a tense situation, doing something unpredictable can render a pendulum inert.

If something negative happens, always look for something good in it, as there always is.

Thought-energy contributes to lifelines.  Being angry about something negative happening only makes more negative things happen in the future.  

Taking in negative thought-energy and giving out negative thought-energy poisons one's lifeline.  

Freedom from pendulums unlocks genius, but ensnarement in a vacuum happens when not being a part of any pendulums at all.  Pendulums can be used for achieving desired goals.  Just be aware of what they are and don't let them harvest oneself.

There are simple solutions to complex problems.  

If consistency is exercised, positivity can beget positivity.

Be grateful for everything oneself has.  Find joy in all the things in life that would otherwise be taken for granted.  Have a positive attitude.  This encourages positivity and abundance in the future.  

Change is made through making a habit of using constructive strategies.  

If life is extremely difficult and harsh for a long period of time, take heart, because the law of balance must take effect and bring the opposite - life must become easy and content at some point.

Balancing forces remove excess potential.  Someone over-prioritizing their job creates excess potential, and balancing forces step in and can create depression and health problems for the worker.  

Regarding one's job - give of your hands.  Give of your head.  But do not give of your heart.  You did not come into this world simply to work for a pendulum.  Your efficiency at work will increase when detaching, because then there is no excess potential.  Only put your heart into your work if it's your truly valued goal.

Don't give too much importance to what is valued or anti-valued, because this generates excess potential.  When there is excess potential, balancing forces step in and bring forth negative consequences.  

Battling and criticizing oneself creates excess potential, and creates what one does not want.  When being dissatisfied with the world, this goes to war with a multitude of pendulums.  No longer criticizing both oneself and the world is very beneficial.

Being happy brings forth creative energy, which does not create excess potential.  Taking pleasure in tiny details is very empowering.

When faced with misfortune or a complex problem - "This too shall pass."

When faced with a destructive pendulum, do not fight it.  Quietly walk away.  The pendulum may tell oneself that there is nowhere else to go, but this is just the pendulum trying to control oneself.

Love brings forth harmony.  Dependent idealization and obsession ruins love.  Putting one's object of affection on a pedestal inevitably results in future disillusionment.  The more someone wants traits in another, the more excess potential is created.  

We become in danger of becoming those who we judge, and/or being with those we judge.  Example: A woman who hates drunkard men is in danger of having one as a partner in the future.  Whatever happens in life, never scorn anyone, because this puts one in the shoes of those one scorns.

Try loving without expectation of reward.  When there is love without possession, dependency is avoided, and lifelines come through that allow for love to be received.  

Comparison of oneself to others in the world, whether in an inferior or superior way, creates excess potential.  

Striving to prove oneself - excess potential.  Self-work, however, is beneficial.  

Trying to manipulate and change the world creates massive imbalance.  Transurfing means choosing one's destiny without compromising anyone else's interests.  This is much more effective than storming ahead and overcoming all obstacles in one's way.  "Choose" instead of "change."

People are mostly preoccupied with themselves.  One is not the center of attention, so one doesn't have to worry about how others perceive oneself.  

There is a hidden charm to shyness.  Let go of fighting shyness to avoid looking clumsy.  Let go of fighting unwanted 'personal flaws.'

The more one wants something, the less likely one is to get it.  Excessive desire creates excess potential, which stops one from obtaining what one wants.

There are 3 types of desire:

1.  Active desire – Desire to have something and do what is required to get it.  This desire is reached because the desire is fueled into action.

2.  Inactive desire – Desire without action taken.  This represents excess potential in its pure form, which causes great torment.  This desire lingers in the energy field.  Best case scenario:  Wastes the energy of the suffering carrier.  Worst case scenario:  Attracts all kinds of problems.  

3.  Object-dependent desire – The most insidious of desires.  Great significance to the object of desire creates great dependency on the object of desire, which creates massively strong excess potential.  "If I achieve this, my situation will improve dramatically.  If I don't achieve this, my life will lose all meaning."  "If do this, I'll prove to myself and everyone else what I'm worth.  If I don't do this, I'm worth nothing."  "If I get this, it would be great.  It would be terrible if I didn't." - and so forth.  Once dependent on the object of desire, one is drawn into such a violent whirlpool, one will exhaust oneself in the struggle.  Eventually, when it's realized that one's efforts have led to nothing, one will let go of the desire.  Balanced forces will restore equilibrium with indifference to one's suffering - suffering which was all because of a strong attachment to the fulfillment of a desire.  This is what happens when one dish is placed on one of the scales, and everything else is placed onto the other.

Only the first type of desire can be fulfilled, because this desire is transformed into pure intention, free of excess potential.

The greater an event is valued, the more likely it is to fall apart in some way.

We pay only for the excess potential that we create.

If you attribute huge value to what you have, sooner or later, balanced forces will take it away.  If what one wants to receive is hugely important to oneself, there is little chance of actually getting it unless one lowers the stakes.  The more one wants to avoid something, the more likely one is to come into contact with it.

"I should be rewarded." - excess potential.  "I should be punished." - excess potential.

There is no justice in nature.  There is only balance. 

One's conscience can cause excess potential.  This is why shrewd people with less of a conscience obtain power more easily, because they don't create excess potential with guilt.  Don't allow anyone to manipulate oneself with guilt.  

Asking for forgiveness releases the excess potential of guilt.  The energy of the accusation is released.  However, don't overdo remorse.  Ask for forgiveness once, and once only.

Addressing Instability and Pendulums

In the visionstate, I saw an anomalous entity that could be from the subquantum realm that looked somewhat similar to the monsters that eat up the past from "The Langoliers."

https://youtu.be/x_2LpM3gNj8

(The entity had more facial features than the Langolier monsters, but was definitely a round ball with a very sharp and aggressive set of teeth.)

Although clearing frequencies are coming through, there is still no noticeable progress with addressing the main problems on the planet surface.  Subquantum anomaly and the Lurker continue to destabilize many different situations.  

I regretted watching the video on Hal Turner's site of a military officer who burned himself alive in front of the Israeli Embassy while screaming "Free Palestine!"  (Someone eventually used a fire extinguisher, but the guy probably did not survive.  I was quite nauseated for a time afterward.)  On one level, this military officer was incredibly heroic, but on another level, incredibly unstable.

Increasingly, the behavior patterns of the surface population are spiraling out of control.  This is positive, because people are standing up more and more against the cabal, but this is also negative, because instability creates more violence and abuse, with the escalation of wars on multiple fronts being one example of many.

Regarding the insanity of the world, I've found that it's best not to pay attention to it.  As I continue to learn about Transurfing, I'm working on no longer feeding destructive pendulums.  

In the book, a pendulum can be defined as "a system of values and goals that is fed by many people that develops an intelligence of its own that controls its adherents without their awareness."  Societal institutions, political causes, war efforts, and so on - all of these are pendulums.  Even spiritual movements are pendulums.

Not all pendulums are harmful, but pendulums care nothing about their adherents.  Pendulums only seek to make themselves stronger and to recruit more adherents.  The most harmful pendulums are the most aggressive.  These pendulums seek to destroy all other pendulums to achieve ultimate supremacy.

To support a pendulum of course makes it stronger, but also, going to battle with a pendulum makes it stronger.  Also, one cannot overtly avoid a pendulum to escape it.  The book's solution to bypass a pendulum is to acknowledge the pendulum's existence, but then ignore it with a neutral state of mind - neither here nor there.

Reality Transurfing, Lightworker Grid Fundraiser for the US, and a Dietary Fallacy

I'm listening to this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_A2S0a9a-k&list=PLDVdsZ67fl1Rv9iLSU7OGWVb15TAETvqh

If so guided, people can take what they find to be useful in the above audiobook compilation.  It has very interesting perspectives - many of which I've never heard before.  One such perspective is that those who judge others are placing themselves in danger of becoming who they judge.  Therefore, I have decided to stop judging the cabal.  I understand that the cabal need to be stopped from causing any further harm, and that many cabal members will be deleted because they are beyond the point of no return, but I no longer judge them.  

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People can donate to this if they feel guided:

Fundraiser for Enhancing the Lightworker Grid in the US

https://fundrazr.com/blessingUS_goddesseclipse_path?ref=ab_7XuRUsLaE037XuRUsLaE03

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I was being influenced to include beans in my diet.  I've been eating small amounts of beans with meals every day for about a week.  Even after eating meat to increase strength, the beans continued to make me feel absolutely horrible.

It's assumed that because a plant food is natural, it's meant to be eaten by humans.  This is simply not true.  Plant foods contain natural toxins that are damaging to health.  However, it's also true that a certain amount of adversity is healthy for the body.  So, every blue moon, I could eat some beans.  But every day?  Absolutely not.  There are only specific plant foods that I can eat every day.  Hominy is still probably ok.  I went back to eating some white bread again too, even though it's over-fortified/poisoned.  (Breads can be researched to at least find brands that have less roundup.)  

Every food on earth is poisonous in one way or another.  It's just a matter of getting the poisons down to a tolerable level.

(Updated 2/23) Some Health Updates

- The whey protein powder was causing my stomach to heat up.  I could do massive amounts of whey protein powder when previously working very physically intense seasonal work, but when not working, somehow it has a damaging heating effect.

- Bread has been discontinued due to poisoning from roundup and over-fortification.  Hominy is a fantastic alternative.  It helps me be in "perfect hominy."

 

- Certain plant foods are not as toxic as previously thought and are being reintroduced into the diet. 

2/23 Update:

I tried going vegetarian again.  I just can't do it.  After a couple days, I get tired, weak, and shaky.  The solution may be protein cycling:

Have a day with the primary source of protein being from whey with no meat, followed by a day of the primary source of protein being from meat with no whey protein.  That way, there is several-hour-interval after going to bed when changing the protein source - no discord-causing meat-dairy protein interaction.

Goddess Energy

I wrote a mostly negative post earlier today and deleted it shortly afterward.  Goddess energy can have that effect, causing a positive change in course. 

From day 2 of the Phoenix Ascension Conference, Cobra stated:

"I will be talking a little bit about goddess energy. This is the most important energy today on the surface of the planet. In the universe, there is always the perfect balance between feminine and masculine energies. But on this planet, the balance is very much distorted. It is time now to bring the goddess energy back. The goddess energy is pureness that brings love, compassion, beauty and harmony. The energy that exists in higher planes. The energy is present in Galactic center and throughout the universe. It needs to come back here. the easiest way to bring it back here is the human reincarnation on the surface of the planet to open the portal to the universe, and we can anchor the energy to the planetary grid and our own physical bodies. Throughout the human history, the energy was almost all the time present until the series of Archon invasions. At the last invasion in 1996, the energy was completely erased from the surface of the planet. it begun to come back in 2012 with the Venus transits in the Sun that happened in 2004 and 2012. The portal opened again, and the goddess energy begun to enter.

The goddess energy is soft, not hard. Softness is not weakness. It is extremely powerful. It is the most powerful energy in the universe. Goddess energy is like water; it works slowly but very effectively. It is the energy to defeat Cabals."

"This is the reason of the recent increasing activities of the sisterhood of roses. The Goddess energy is the most important energy needed at this moment. I need to stress that again and again. The most important energy is the goddess energy. The goddess energy needs to be more and more on the planet. There have to be self-organized groups who work for the energy of Peace, which is the most important at this moment."

This meditation was used to clear the IBC, so is very relevant to the current situation:

https://youtu.be/31n5YjpENOA

(Updated) A Dystopian Future Timeline from the Dreamstate

Update:

The way to prevent the negative future dystopian dream discussed below is to de-manifest it, which is suggested in the Phoenix conference on the part regarding de-manifestation.  I clear it and I don't give it my attention.  Same goes for war scenarios, including civil war in the US.  Just don't give these scenarios the power of attention.  I will leave the original post as is so that others may analyze the tactics of the dark forces if they so wish:

I had a very long and convincing dreamstate experience of being in the future, and this future was dystopian.  There was more technology, but people's lives were very closely monitored and controlled.  Even children having ice cream for dessert was controlled.  (I'm against eating extra sugar of course, but that's not the point, lol!)  People had extremely limited rights.  I was then showed a timeline that this dystopian future would go on for decades before finally breaking free.  The timeline was shown as a spiral.  The spiral was stagnate for decades in a mostly straight line before finally curving to surpass the dystopian regime.  

This dreamstate experience felt very real, and I have very strong 'vibrational frequencies' resonating with this timeline.  I don't want to have these frequencies of course, but through-and-through, this is what the future 'feels like.'  

I don't understand why I would have this dreamstate experience if there is supposed to be planetary liberation.  If this is the dark forces manipulating my intuition, or if this is the actual timeline for the future - either way, there is still a strong level of negative interference.  

I'm reporting on this dreamstate experience to help prevent a decades-long dystopian regime - or, to report negative interference from the dark forces - whichever of these two cases it may be.  

Regarding the scenario of this being an actual future timeline, yes, I know 2012 Portal said the positive timeline is secure, but there have been many instances in the past when claims were made, but something else happened.  I'm not trying to be adversarial.  It's just a fact.  

People may not realize how real this future timeline was made to feel.  In any case, I'll clear my mind to clear these vibes out.

A First Contact Dream and a Challenge

I had a dream regarding First Contact.  I'm not sure if I should stay quiet or reveal it.  Because I wasn't told to stay quiet, and my intuition isn't telling me to stay quiet, I'll go ahead and reveal the dream.

I was talking to Howard Wolowitz, who was the character from The Big Bang Theory.  This character was an astronaut, so the choice was excellent for my subconscious.  He told me he had contact with positive Ets, and that they can give me anything I want, and that they can give humanity anything humanity wants.  I then saw their craft.  In this instance, their craft were not flying saucers, but were more like very advanced cargo ships.  Star trek had cargo ships like this from time to time.  Howard then said there were some conditions that needed to be met.  I can't specifically remember what these conditions were, but they gave off a feeling of being reasonable.  

Later as I woke up more, I had a vision of several flying saucers zooming through the sky, with the perspective of me being in the sky as they zoomed past me, well within the earth's atmosphere.

Before going to bed last night, I was angry with the Light Forces and Underground Resistance.  I've been fighting my anger over the past few months over the genocide in GAZA.  The death toll is nearly 30,000 now of mostly women and children.  In a not-so-nice way, I ranted that the LF/UR need to get over their fears and do something. 

A dream is very positive, but I challenge the LF/RM to do more than just give good dreams, and physically intervene.  Physically intervene to stop the genocide in GAZA, and physically intervene to initiate First Contact with myself and others.  I also strongly feel that 'not being ready' is not a factor.  No one is ready to be born in this world.  No one is ready to die in this world.  There is no 'ready' vs. 'not ready.'  That is an illusion.

I also pledge to better manage my temper.  Even though I didn't communicate in a nice way, what I said is true.  The LF/UR need to get over their fears and physically intervene.  And don't say "Oh, we'll do that at the Event."  You know you can do much more now, so please, do much more - now. 

There is a "They" Because My Food is Poisoned

(I won't put references.  People can do their own research to confirm or deny what I'm saying.  This is also written outside the context of intervention from positive forces, which is (hopefully) taking place.)

If there were no wars and so forth to impoverish the global population, by the year 2030, the global economy would collapse anyway from skyrocketing medical bills from skyrocketing cancer rates alone.  Years before covid and the vax, it was predicted that cancer and other diseases would exponentially increase.  These are the main causes:

Monsanto:

No explanation is needed.  Most people know that roundup is in their food.  The only thing to add is that a population without a diverse and healthy microbiome is in serious trouble.

Other poisonings of major food groups:

Wheat is over-fortified.  Even most organic wheat is over-fortified.  Cereals are over-fortified.  The folic acid added to wheat is toxic.  Most humans cannot assimilate it.  Milk is over-fortified with vitamin A.  The vitamin A added to milk keeps increasing over time.  Toxic flavorings are added to many different foods.  There are still meats that have added hormones and antibiotics.  Plastics get into foods through exposure.  Toxic vegetable oils are added to many different foods.  Most people consume far too much sugar (fructose).

To the masses who say there is no "they," why is food being poisoned with roundup, over-fortification, toxic flavorings, added hormones and antibiotics, plastics, and vegetable oils?  And why is there the chronic mass over-consumption of fructose?

Maybe humanity is just stupid.  However, when the level of stupidity reaches a certain extreme (which has been far exceeded already), it's not just stupidity.  It's intentional stupidity.  There would have to be forces who want humanity to be destroyed.  Or, at the very least, there would have to be forces who desire a truncation of human evolutionary potential. 

A Request

Requesting that the Light Forces and Underground Resistance remove all energy weapons of all types from the planet, once and for all.  

Requesting that all who have been using energy weapons of all types be brought to justice.

A special meditation has been done for this purpose.

Victory of the Light.

The Hum (Updated 2x on 2/14) - It Probably is Tinnitus, and no more GABA

About a week and a half ago, I started hearing a never-ending low pitched humming sound - day and night.  It's called "The hum."  It's a widespread phenomenon:

https://theconversation.com/cracking-the-mystery-of-the-worldwide-hum-60296

The hum is also mentioned in a Targeted Individual document:

https://www.ohchr.org/sites/default/files/Documents/Issues/Torture/Call/Individuals/ElectromagneticTorture.pdf

Earplugs don't help much to get the humming down.  This is another problem I have no ability to fix.  I've added it to my "It's not my fault, and I let it go" list.  (I have quite an extensive list.)

I'll focus on connecting to the Sun and other kinds of Light, which help me to feel better.  Music can also be listened to in the daytime.

Update 2/13:

The pattern is that when I connect to the Sun and other kinds of Light, very severe distortions of consciousness quickly follow as some sort of reaction.  These distortions become a form of mental possession.  I'm still in control of my body when this happens, but my mind goes very deeply and uncontrollably in the 'gutter.' 

Once again, I'm not eating properly, so I'll get back on track.  I'm noticing more and more though... you know that fine line I keep trying to stay on?  It keeps getting thinner and thinner... 

Mindfulness on its own just isn't doing the trick.  Some new therapy books came in yesterday - maybe I can make some progress from reading them.  

Update 2/14:

This video goes into great deal about the hum, concluding that it probably is a more rare form of tinnitus:

https://youtu.be/Ev5MFCg0O1I

It was only after taking those supplements when I started having it.  Must have messed me up in many different ways.  Along with other forms of tinnitus, looks like it's here to stay.  Welcome to the family. 🙄

Update #3:

A 'doctor' on youtube suggested taking GABA to balance glutamine in the body to stop tinnitus.  This made sense because my diet is naturally high in glutamine, so I started taking GABA in the morning and evening a couple days ago.  This was another disaster.  The effect could be compared to being shot up with heroine.  (I've never done heroine, but the effect was to be very 'doped up.')  So, once again with the exception of vitamin D - no more supplements!   

The fine line is now more easy to access.  Homeostasis is returning.

Supplements Can Behave Like Pharmaceuticals

Although I don't have enough money to get in-depth mainstream medical care, nor do I feel that in-depth mainstream medical care could help me, I do occasionally experiment with supplements.  In fact, over the last decade I've probably spent a few thousand dollars on supplements.  I also used to work in a health food store.

My latest experiment was to combine quercetin with bromelain.  The quercetin supplement had 250mg of quercetin in a phytosomal form - it said that it had 20x absorption on the label.  (20 x 250mg is 5g.) 

I started getting stomach pains, nausea, and a constant ringing in the right ear.  (This ringing was in addition to other chronic sounds in the brain mentioned in a previous post.)  Then, I watched this video:

What are the side effects of quercetin and bromelain?

(From researching other sites, ear ringing is another symptom of high quercetin intake.)

On top of that, I had already been taking a high amount of silica in gel form - a few hundred mg:

 

Side effects of high silica consumption: 

https://www.yourhealthremedy.com/health-tips/silica-supplements/

Then my heart started flip-flopping all over the place the other night (as mentioned in a previous post).  There were also other very negative symptoms I'd rather not go into.  My intentions were good, but the results were a disaster.

Conclusion:

Although pharmaceuticals have more severe side-effects, supplements can behave like pharmaceuticals.  It's actually very easy to get oneself into a great amount of trouble with supplements, and this latest fiasco was not the first time I've had disastrous results when experimenting with supplements. 

There are so many supplements that are heavily promoted that may not be safe.  For example, turmeric is high in oxalates, so I wonder if turmeric supplements have massive levels of oxalates because they are so ridiculously concentrated.  Needless to say, every time I took a turmeric supplement, it was a disaster.

Supplements can be very beneficial.  For example, N-Acetyl Cysteine (NAC) is extremely powerful for the immune system if one gets sick.  However, because the human body is so complex, supplements are a 'double-edged sword.'  Much greater care needs to be taken when using supplements - I've learned this the hard way.  This is why from now on when I get excited about a supplement, I will immediately look at any negative side-effects and any evidence that discredits the supplement as being either useless or harmful.  Actually, for the most part, I may be better off not taking supplements at all.

To really know what I'm doing with supplements, I would need to have advanced knowledge that goes beyond the PhD level.  The complexity of the human body is beyond the scope of mainstream science, and 'non-mainstream science' keeps wanting to believe that certain supplements are the 'holy grail' of health while ignoring a countless number of variables.  

The intelligence of nature is far beyond human understanding.  Even someone with an IQ of say, 250, which does not exist within the surface population, would not be able to have mastery over nature.  

Intuition is a part of the astronomical intelligence of nature, so can surpass an ultra-high IQ, but there are negative forces that are adept at manipulating intuition.  My intuition told me to take silica, quercetin, and bromelain.  In this case, my intuition was being used to cause me considerable harm.

Going Beyond 1's and 0's

I'll be reading books on therapy.  I don't have access to a therapist, so I'll become an unofficial therapist to maximize the benefits of self-therapy. 

All problems that I cannot solve - I let them go.  That's an important first step to feel better.

Perhaps the silica supplement has been messing me up.  It's a very high dose of silica in a gel form.  I'll discontinue all supplements with the exception of vitamin D.  

I'll keep trying different strategies until I can return to a state of balance.  The stomach has still been burning.  One priority is to get this burning to stop.

It's very important to have a clear mind.  A mind full of junk has little room for bringing Light through.  

Sure, I'll look at various updates, but there's nothing that really catches my attention in the world.  So far, it's all just been a huge mess on a computer screen.

The true essence of life is beyond 1's and 0's.

Letter of Resignation

(My perspective has changed because I found out that I've been poisoning myself with a silica supplement, but some things needed to be said, so I'll leave this post as is.)

I have a constant set of sounds in the background that go on in my brain.  One of the sounds is almost like a vacuum cleaner.  There is another one that is like the vacuum cleaner sound, but at a lower pitch.

There is a low rumbling sound outside at night, like some kind of very low frequency soundwave.  (I plug my ears to make sure it's not inside my brain.  It's a definite external sound.)

I get pulsing sensations in my head as though I have a fever, but without the high temperature of a fever.

I get very brief localized pains in different parts of my head.  This doesn't happen too often, but is often enough to take note.

I have extremely bizarre dreams.  My mind thinks its ok at the time.  After I wake up and know better, it can be very disturbing.     

The above symptoms regarding sounds in my head, the pulsing in my head, localized pains, and other dysfunctions - all of this leads me to think that I may have a brain tumor.  I have no health insurance and no way to afford medical care.  I know that I'm alone in this, and no one will help me.  (If anything, I could be considered to be a danger to others, although I am not.)

I've been holding back some of this information.  I haven't been telling people how bad it really is.

None of these problems are my fault.  Sometimes there really are victims in this world.  People - especially law of attraction worshiping newagers and occultists, will often say that everything that happens to someone is that person bringing it on themselves.  This is only a half-truth.  Although I don't believe in victim mentalities, I am being victimized - slowly tortured.  This is unfair.

Sorry, but I'm tired of 2012 Portal.  I'm tired of it all.

Others may try to offer energetic help, but what I really need is to be physically taken off world.  It really is that bad.  

I'm no longer fit to be a part of the planetary liberation process.

This post is a 'letter of resignation.'

No More Mind-Games, Unsolvable Problems, and a Resurfacing Heart Issue

It's a mind-game to tell people to wait for the Event to experience any real positive intervention and results.  'Darkest before dawn' is also a mind-game.  Both of these mind-games are extremely abusive, and could easily be argued to be in violation of the Galactic Codex.

With less mind-games, it's much easier to hold the Light.

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There are problems that I cannot solve no matter what I do.  I realize that these problems are not my fault because I've done everything I could to fix them.  I won't be a loosh battery from problems that are beyond my control.  At this point, they are no longer my problems - I let them go.

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I've been suffering from a heart problem for the last several hours, but fortunately, my heartbeat has finally returned to normal.  This heart problem is what made me completely stop drinking for over 4 and half years and counting, but it has resurfaced.  Fortunately, this heart problem is not an unsolvable problem.  

My potassium intake was too high and I wasn't getting enough sodium, which balances potassium (long story).  I took some liposomal vitamin C, which somehow became a catalyst for the potassium-induced arrhythmia.  It was flip-flopping constantly all night.  Also, the heartbeat went very fast in the initial phase.  

When faced with this much adversity, I no longer care about 'niceties' - I will conquer all adversity.

(Updated) Something Unstoppable Has Been Set in Motion, and It's Very, Very Positive

Everything is starting to come together.  The lurker being intertwined within the surface population is being seen on very personal levels.  

An awesome commenter mentioned a movie that comes across as a shoot-em-up kind of film, but there's a surprise.  This movie actually exposes the anomaly and lurker:

https://youtu.be/s46HWMCLZug

There's the old saying that everyone has a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other.  This cliche is extremely accurate.  Everyone has a force for devolution and evolution.  In my own experience, the over-two-decades-long stalemate has finally come to and end, with the force of evolution becoming stronger than the force of devolution.  

There is accessing presence beyond thought.  There is body awareness.  There is space awareness.  There is the I Am observer of thoughts and emotions.  There is the reversal of devolution self-talk, with constructive thoughts for positive reprogramming, similar to a very adept internal therapist who knows all the right things to say.  There is health and wellness and diet research, along with a couple supplements that may be helping to reverse my cancer.  (I'm still not sure so won't mention what these supplements are yet.)  There are Cobra meditations to bring more Light through.  All of this (and more that isn't mentioned) is becoming a very powerful, unbeatable evolutionary formula.  

The journey has been very intense.  I carried far more anomaly than most realized.  This was very dangerous and could have ended in absolute disaster.  But I pushed through, and it was worth the risk!!!

Of course this is an ongoing process, and I may still falter in the future, but something has been set in motion that cannot be stopped, and it's very, very positive!  I saw a vortex of Light similar to a miniature galaxy activate in a vision recently.  

Looking forward to seeing the notes on the latest conference!

Update on 2/6:

Unfortunately, the jinn were trying to pay me a visit in the dreamstate early this morning after making this post.  They don't want me evolving past a certain point.  That's why they've been harassing me for over 15 years.  The jinn look like what UFO believers call the greys.  The jinn (not full breed jinn, but hybrid jinn - long story) trick people into making them think they are aliens.  This is Siris King's information - I find what he says to be true.

 

 

I also heard the thoughtform from a strange sounding male voice this morning upon waking up: "Fuck its brains out!"  

There is obviously some very serious clearing that still needs to take place...

A Couple Updates

Lately I've been feeling my stomach area really start to heat up.  It's like this kind of burning inside.  I had to modify my diet again to get it under control.  I won't say what I'm eating anymore.  All I'll say is that it's important to listen to one's body to know what to eat.  

I had a very intense encounter with my shadow - more intense than ever before, but now I'm more stable.  Energies are very strong.  Emotions are very strong.  Everything is extremely intense, but I'm ok with it now.   

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I hope Libra is ok.  I hope it wasn't anything I said.  My way of dealing with anomaly can be very different, and I hope I didn't come across as being pushy with my comments on her blog, which as far as I can tell, is no longer there.  I'm sorry to see that happen.  Maybe she'll put it back if possible before it's permanently deleted.

Meditation, Mindfulness, and Trauma

I'm reading the book, "Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness: Practices for Safe and Transformative Healing," by David A. Treleaven.  I'm surprised that this book is heavily politicized to the Left.  I had to sift through the political aspects in order to get to the real information.  

I'm not finished with the book yet, but if I report on the entire book at once, it will turn into a mega-post.  For the most part, I myself get turned off when I see a post that is really long, so this will be a series of smaller posts.  Some notes from the book so far:

One definition of mindfulness is:

"Paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally." 

Another definition: "The aware balanced acceptance of present experience.  It is opening to or receiving the present moment, pleasant or unpleasant, just as it is."

"Mindfulness allows for focus to be directed instead of scattered, so that attention does not have to be taken over by past traumas and associated stimuli with past traumas.  Mindfulness can enhance self-regulation - the ability to control emotions, thoughts, and behavior, if practiced with discernment."  

The discernment part means that it's possible to over-regulate emotions.  It's possible to take this too far.  It's possible to take meditation too far, causing adverse effects.  Those who are at the highest risk of adverse effects are those who meditate for several hours per day.  There are many instances of hard-core meditators who never want to do anything, who literally just stare at a wall all day.  There are also those who can become so disoriented that for a time after meditating, they forget how to function.  One instance mentioned by the interviewee in my previous post (who recommended reading this book) was someone not being able to tell if a red light means "stop or go" after participating in a meditation retreat.

Mindfulness is not the same as meditating.  Mindfulness is more momentary.  Mindfulness can be focusing on, for example, one's steps as they are walking into a store.  The book states that it's unlikely to have adverse effects from mindfulness.  It's more long-term mindfulness meditations that can become a problem.  However, those with strong past trauma(s) are more vulnerable to any and all mental practices.

Regarding past trauma, the book states that mindfulness can backfire, actually intensifying past traumas by focusing on them.  So, this can be tricky, hence the need for this book.  Those who have trauma are more likely to experience adverse effects to meditations.  The mind is quite vast and complex.  When altered, especially for those with past traumas, greater care is needed.

Some personal reflections:

There are those who say, "I forgive, but I never forget!"  Yet, forgiving is forgetting, because if a past wrong is not forgotten, there's no real letting go.  Why be stuck in the past?  Let all the traumas of the past go, and only keep the good stuff.  The Galactic Codex states that it's the dark forces who want humans to evolve from abuse and suffering - it's never necessary to evolve from abuse and suffering.  

Reliving past traumas only creates more suffering.  Letting go and being in the present moment can weaken the neural connections associated with past traumas.  

There is also forgiveness of oneself for any traumas committed against others in the past, and forgiveness of others who have committed traumas against oneself in the past, which involves the heart center.  This too is done for the purpose of letting go - release.

Is it possible to truly forget though?  Maybe not.  However, "I forgive, but I never forget!" has the negative connotation of carrying a grudge.  In order for true healing to occur, the memory of trauma is rendered inert, no longer carrying trauma into the present and future.  

The key is transformation.  Past abusers can no longer be abusers.  This reminds me of the controversial movie "A Clockwork Orange."  This movie is definitely not for the faint of heart, which explores the possibility of turning a thug-rapist into a compassionate human being through a special treatment that transforms him for a time.  

(Of course, the most hard-core abusers - the worst of the cabal - they are too far gone to transform, being only destined for the Galactic Central Sun.)

Past abusees can no longer be victims.  

There can be no true removal of the anomaly if victim-victimizer aspects remain in the surface population.   

(This post is already too long; I will stop here.)