What I Must Do
In my case at least, life is becoming too chaotic and difficult. Here are some things that have been going wrong as of late:
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In the stock market, I invested $2400 of my hard earned money in First Republic Bank when it was at $25. I decided to do this because I thought the meditations would allow First Republic Bank to go back up to where it was before, which was over $100, or at least to somewhere that would at least double my money. This was not the primary reason for me doing the meditations to alleviate the financial situation, but I figured, why not give it a go? For so many years, I've been trying to find ways to not have to work 9-5 jobs so that I could focus on 'higher aspects.' The motive to 'make it big' has not been out of greed. I simply wanted to have my attention freed up. Anyway, I sold First Republic Bank at around $15 and cut my losses.
My phone doesn't work no matter what I do to try to fix it. I spent quite a bit of time yesterday after a long day's work chatting on my computer with the the phone service to get it to work to no avail. Although I rarely use my phone, when I do use it, I really need for it to work. This has been a major stressor, especially since it stopped working when trying to order a very important product when the seller kept blocking my purchase online.
I've been making mistakes at my job to the point where other employees started treating me like I'm 'mentally handicapped,' or at least it seemed so.
The tachyon discs really messed me up, and I'm not getting a full refund on one of their products, even though I shipped it back to them 3 weeks ago. There has been no response when I contacted them about this. Cobra's tachyon chamber did not have the benefits I thought it did either after doing 7 sessions (8 sessions now, as I did one more yesterday.)
I have a case of 'kundalini syndrome' that gets worse when I place my attention on 'spiritual matters.' The kundalini syndrome has been a great source of stress and suffering in ways I'd rather not go into. I'll just say that many spiritual teachers are not what they appear to be at all, because they cannot handle the serpent energy.
My car is having problems that need to be fixed.
I'm still getting stinging sensations in my left arm and other parts of the body.
Continuing stomach issues and other health issues.
Horrible things keep happening in the world, with a list that is practically endless. Gonzalo Lira being kidnapped by 'authorities' doesn't help either. If I want to have an especially bad day, all I have to do is look at Hal Turner's news and so forth. I'm not saying people should 'stick their head in the sand.' It's important to know what's going on. But I myself already have a full plate just keeping my own life going. There's no more room on my plate for the additional stress of 'the world at large' and the cabal's latest tactics that they employ, as per usual, with impunity, despite all the propaganda saying that the cabal are being taken out from Fulford and others (which they've been saying for several years now.)
I recently had a negative dream about Ets, including a UFO made of light that had a very scary Et come out to 'visit me' resembling the diabolical greys. This is not the first time this has happened. Because of these very traumatic experiences, I now subconsciously associate first contact with being in danger from the Ets themselves. I didn't want to mention this before the Portal of Light Activation, so I bit my lip until now.
My heart is skipping beats again, probably because of the above stressors. Heart palpitations would of course be an additional stressor.
(This is a just a list off the top of my head.)
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I need to stabilize my 'life situation,' and I've found that if I no longer pay attention to Ets and all the 'other stuff out there,' and instead have my attention on life in the here and now, I'm much more stable. Maybe the dark forces want me to no longer pay attention to 'all the other stuff,' but I have to do what I have to do, and it's not my fault. There simply wasn't enough intervention on any remote level to improve my life situation from outside forces, such as the Light Forces. However, it is my responsibility to no longer give my power away to outside sources of intervention.
Furthermore regarding my place of employment, it's a difference of 'night and day' when I focus on tasks at hand with a mind that is present, as opposed to thinking about intervention to 'rescue me from a life of drudgery' and so forth. All thoughts about 'being saved' cause me to become stressed out and create a victim mentality. However, when I let all of this 'intervention stuff' go, I can perceive the stresses at my job as challenges I can overcome, which improves self-confidence.
Critical mass has been reached for the Portal of Light Activation, and the May 2nd and May 5th meditations are completed, which is fantastic, but where I stand now, very understandably, from here on forward, the Light Forces are going to have to 'take action' on their own merits. I'm not going to sacrifice my well-being anymore, because when my well-being is sacrificed, I'm no good anyway.
So, this is goodbye, at least for now. I'm going to put 'all this stuff,' including the Event and everything else, completely out of my mind, in order to tend to my own garden, which is not selfish at all, because a garden that is full of weeds (which in many cases the weeds are not my fault) is of no use.
All the best.
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