Maybe I Need a Girlfriend

(I know I said I'd stop posting dreams.  Oh well.)

This morning I dreamed of what it's actually like to be in love with a romantic partner, and all the wonderful experiences that go along with that.  This is something I've never experienced before.  I didn't know it could be like this.  It was the most wonderful experience ever!  Now I know why I've been so miserable and unstable. 

The experience was someone else's.  It's actually none of my business.  These things happen though.  It's not like I snooped on purpose.  

I've spent all this time trying to be so perfect and do the right thing, but this is not possible when the most fundamental reason for existing in the first place is not even remotely known and experienced.  I actually don't realize how much I am suffering because I am in it so deep.  It's like being a fish in water and not knowing there is water.  No wonder I get so messed up and miserable.  I have no idea what I'm missing.  I hope my suffering isn't somehow causing problems for others.

This explains why everything has always had the 'upper hand' over me.  A romantic relationship is probably essential for spiritual growth and power.  A person can have spiritual growth and power without a romantic relationship, but only in very special cases.  I'm not one of those special cases.  

The worst thing anyone can ever do to someone else is to mess up their sexuality.  That's what's been done to me, somehow.  The manipulation has not always been covert.  Other men would often be attracted to me, but I was straight.  I remember years ago this guy followed me in a van when I was jogging.  He asked me if I liked guys.  I then saw that he had his penis out of his pants.  He was  jacking off to me.

There reaches a point of being alone to an extent where it becomes extremely unhealthy. That point was reached for me a long time ago.  I'm getting close to being middle-aged now.

I'm actually considering getting an online dating profile at this point.  

Many lightworkers are probably so miserable because they don't have their partners.  They are waiting on their twin flames or Pleiadians.  They could keep waiting or they could go find someone.  

 

 

Comments

  1. Starlight432October 27, 2022 at 5:56 PM

    Society in its current state is not good for starting a family. If I were ever to start a family, I would have to be at least a millionaire so that I could create the ideal family setting.

    I have other priorities too, but a part of me is sad about not having a family, and I never thought I would be. The sadness is not enough to make me desperate to start one though.

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