The Silver Lining

If I were to have a life story, my life story would be summed up in one word - humiliation.

Throughout childhood and adulthood, I've been humiliated many times in front of many people.  One example of many from childhood: I was pushed down in the gym by someone in front of about 60 other kids and they all laughed at me after I fell.  One example of many from adulthood: My intelligence drastically lowers when I'm at my current job.  I make stupid mistakes, and there are others who wonder if I am actually mentally retarded.

From the car I drive, to my balding head, to others I used to know who stab me in the back in ways I'd rather not go into, it's humiliation, humiliation, humiliation.  I've even been sexually humiliated.  Yes indeed, on the deepest levels, humiliation is the #1 form of abuse in my life.  Humiliation even supersedes any financial troubles I've ever had, because financial troubles are merely a tool to humiliate me in front of my extended family.  My extended family are successful in life, and I'm the only one who turned out to be a failure in their eyes, whether or not they tell this to me directly.  

Where am I going with all of this?  

The Galactic Codex states that enlightenment through suffering is from the archons to enslave the surface population.  Although this is true, since the damage has already been done, and in my case, continues to be done, why not make the best of it, and use it to attain higher states?  If humiliation from the past and continued humiliation is involuntary anyway, mine as well find the silver lining and see it as an opportunity for growth.

The Sufis are basically the 'cream of the crop' of Muslims.  There are even Muslims who persecute Sufis, as they regard them as illegitimate Muslims.  People would do very well to learn from Sufism.  There are Sufis who publicly humiliate and shame themselves on purpose to dissolve their need for validation from others so that they can focus exclusively on connecting to higher states and higher realms.  Sufis humiliate themselves to have humility as a spiritual tool.  Therefore, I can view my own life of humiliation in the same way.  I can decrease relationships with others in order to increase inner resources for a relationship with the Divine.

There are many who say, "I don't care what others think of me." Do people who say this truly own those words?  Probably not.  Humans are hardwired to be social and seek validation.  It's much easier said than done to truly go beyond such programming.  However, in extreme cases of humiliation, such programming dissolves.  

In my personal life, I either have the choice to become a victim and allow humiliation to destroy me, or I can make use of humiliation to go beyond the "me" and connect to the "Divine I," in all it's diverse and unique expressions.  That's what I've been doing, and that's why I have a certain level of spiritual power.  However, the victim mentality often reasserts itself, so the path of Divine Connection requires it be dealt with on a daily basis.  With time though, it becomes less and less difficult to overcome. 

Others may be in similar situations of abuse.  Maybe ask yourselves, "How can I use this to increase my Divine Connection?"  Or not - it's a choice people make.  And again, I understand that the Galactic Codex says suffering has no place in creation and is archonic.  But again, since the eggs have already been scrambled, mine as well make scrambled eggs.  This isn't ideal in a perfect utopian world, but we still don't live in a perfect utopian world, and the alternative choice of victimhood just turns a person into a loosh battery, big time.

So I say, go for it!