Victory of Being True to Oneself

It's now the highest priority to pursue what one most resonates with.  

I haven't been honest about what I resonate with, because I felt that I should sacrifice my own pursuits for the larger picture.  However, now that it's so late into 2022, I'm going to prioritize what makes me happy over the larger picture.  I've done my part to support the larger picture, and perhaps others can take it from here.  If others feel I am being self-centered, then so be it.  I actually am self-centered.  I am centered within myself.

My long-standing interest is to ground within Earth.  I value relationships with environments over relationships with people.  Environments such as natural settings and scenery, and even certain human-made scenery, are experienced as simultaneously unique and undefined.  Romantic relationships though - even though a part of me is interested in them, most of me is satisfied to be in a state of romance with environments.  

It's also one or the other.  It can never be both.  A romantic relationship with another person would get in the way of unification with environments, because the romantic partner would ask me why I don't pay her more attention and so forth.  

I'm not interested in twin flames, or anything of the sort.

The Light can come through - this is fine.  The Violet Flame is great to work with.  But what I'm truly drawn to is being one with environments.  This may sound bizarre to some, but 'it is what it is.'  

I can have professional relationships with other people, but I often prefer to be alone.  I could actually be happy never seeing another person again (of course only if food and shelter needs are perpetually met).  Ets are people too, it's true.  

Ralph Waldo Emerson had some good conversations with a small circle of friends.  Maybe I'm similar to Emerson.

I've also been continually attacked, and my dreamstate has been chaotic and disturbing.  The only thing that actually carried me through all the abuse over the years was to know that Earth is still here to support me.  It was my connection to Earth, and not 'the Light,' that allowed me to survive the harshest of attacks.  It is Earth from which I draw my Strength.  There is also the Light of the Sun, which nourishes Earth, so perhaps connecting to Earth is a way to connect to the Light, although indirectly.  Also, I suppose solid matter is made of condensed Light.  Others may draw their own conclusions regarding this matter. 

I heard the thoughtform early this morning possibly coming from the Light Forces basically saying that they would no longer work with me because I'm too compromised.  I admit, I have some seriously messed up thoughtforms.  I kind of figured that with all the claims about all the clearing that's been taking place that dark thoughtforms would have nearly been gone by now.  No, this hasn't happened, at least while doing what I've been doing.  So, maybe it really is time to do something... else.

To ignore one's own inner calling is to deny oneself.  Maybe in the future I will be different though.  Anything is possible.  But for now, and for quite some time, I've felt that I should focus on what's right in front of me instead of all this other... 'stuff.'

Victory of being true to oneself.