Melatonin Update - Not a Long-term Solution, and Too Much Chaos

The melatonin experiment is not a long-term solution.  I can't just keep taking melatonin when I have to go to work and pay the bills.  I get too tired.  Plus, only megadoses have any positive effect anymore, and the positive effect doesn't solve the problem.  I may, however, megadose on my days off to get some momentary relief.  Although I sleep quite a bit more when megadosing, I'm momentarily able to access higher aspects, whereas, higher aspects are more able to be dominant over 'other aspects.'

When the surface population becomes very upset, and there's chaos and turmoil, I default on negative aspects.  These negative aspects are not a physical danger to anyone else though.  

I keep thinking it's dietary, but the evidence is more on the side of the planetary grids being messed up.  When the planetary grids are messed up, I'm messed up.  No amount of lightwork and meditations are able to bypass that.  As the chaos in the world increases through a global economic collapse, and resulting violent overthrows of governments (China is going insane, for example) throughout the world... it seems like there really is a correlation with chaotic global affairs and my own 'distortions' becoming more and more severe. 

I try to be at the cause, but unfortunately, am at the effect.  Nonetheless, lightwork can still be useful.  Light can still be brought through.  I do, however, suggest that people don't look up to me and so forth.  I'm too compromised to be a leader.  I don't want my problems to become other people's problems.  People need to do what they feel is right, and leave me in the background.  

I need to be in an environment where I don't have to put up with all the insanity at my job and so forth anymore.  (I need to be taken off world.)  The summer solstice was fantastic for me.  I was able to almost pass as a human being.  Nothing significant changed in my diet either.  I just got better.  I had so much energy and felt so amazing, I even did some overtime at my job.  Perhaps it was the planetary alignment that made me feel so well.  All the planets were lined up.  This was also around the time the Light Forces were stated to be making huge progress on 2012portal.  Maybe that factored into it as well.  Who knows.   

Then, around the 25th or so, all the distortions came back. 

When I quit drinking over 3 years ago, I felt amazing and went on jogs several times a week.  Then, covid and all its nonsense started and the grids collapsed... I could then no longer go on jogs because my heart kept skipping beats, and other old problems came right back.  Again, there was no significant change in my diet.  I was doing the right thing, but when vortexes/grids collapse, even though I quit drinking and took good care of myself, it's like I was 'back to square one' again.  It's so unfair when I do the right thing and still am set back like this.  At least I know that it's not my fault.

It's also possible that CERN is adversely affecting me.  I'm particularly sensitive to what CERN is doing, although few would find this believable.

There's also the possibility of subquantum anomaly being used against me.  Also, negative occultists could be targeting me.  Or, I'm just stupid. 😆 There are many possibilities. 

I'm just going to accept myself the way I am.  Maybe my greatest weaknesses can somehow be my greatest strengths.  I don't know.  What else can I do?