I'm Doing Great!

In between the waking state and dream state I heard the thoughtform this morning, "I don't want to help you."  This was accompanied with judgemental vibes.  Whoever this is, I've reached the point with research/application of stoicism and CBT to be in a position to no longer need anyone else's help.  Therefore, I request that whoever you are, please stand aside.  If you don't stand aside, I will simply know that you are trying to hinder my healing and development.  I will also know that you are powerless over me, and anything you might do to try to harm me only falls back upon you.

Psychologically, I've made major breakthroughs.  I don't need a therapist, nor do I need the approval of others.  If anything, I am almost in a position to help others with their issues.  I thought about being a paid mentor, which doesn't require an advanced degree.  This is a great alternative to being a therapist.  (I am not 'qualified' to be a therapist because I don't want to go into massive student loan debt.) 

I've been reading the books and doing the work of a college student.  The university I go to is my living room, and, weather permitting, the outdoors.  Currently though, I don't feel guided to be a paid mentor, as this would entail a great amount of online time doing video calls.  I feel that I already spend too much time online.

Long story short, I don't judge myself for past mistakes.  I instead use past mistakes as learning opportunities.  I'm grateful that I hit 'rock bottom' around 2024.  I'm grateful for the mistakes I made then, and before then, because all of this helps to steer me in a healthy direction.  

I also understand that I don't need anyone's validation and approval to be able to function.  Even if the entire world of humans hated and rejected me, it's alright, as this is beyond my control.  A performer on a stage only gets nervous from being afraid of disappointing the audience.  However, if the performer realizes that the only thing that matters is the virtue of the performance itself, regardless of what the audience may think, all the fear and anxiety vanishes.  Whether it's a performance on stage or living life, this is the way to be.  

What if the light forces look down upon me as well?  I don't think they do, but if they do, the same still applies.  Really, I'm doing just fine.  Whether it's the surface population or the light forces, I don't place myself in the position to be at their mercy.  I can now fully stand on my own two feet.  (Finances is another matter of course, as I will be running out of money in the not-too-distant-future, but stoicism and CBT places me in a strong position to be able to make ends meet – even with a touch of grace.)

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