(There is a very interesting passage about sex in this one.)
Change in the physical is so slow that in order to see changes, it’s like recording footage of the formation of clouds, and having to speed up the film to see anything happen. The dulling of fresh changes, however, is rapid.
A toy is a good remedy for boredom, and a game is an even better one. As we get older, we think of more sophisticated means of amusing ourselves, such as sports, contests, and so forth. Many professions are nothing more than games. Adults say that children play games, but adults just play more sophisticated games. The self-importance adults give to their games gives their games the name “work.”
Ask a child what they are doing, and the child will seriously reply, “I am playing!” Try distracting an adult from their work, and they will respond with indignation, “I’m doing something important!”
When children don’t play games, they ‘muck about.’ When adults don’t play games, they ‘slob about.’
Survival and the instinct for self-preservation are the stereotyped fundamental needs for human beings, but this is not true. Could the fundamental need of humans be to reproduce? Again, this is incorrect. The primary need of humans is to be able to independently manage our own lives. This is the fundamental principle that underlies the behavior of all living beings. All other needs are consequences of this main principle. In other words, the goal and purpose of all living beings is to control their reality.
The survival instinct is just a consequence of something more fundamental. Everything comes down to bringing reality under control, which is the key motive behind the activities of all living beings.
Inactivity is absence of control. Consequently, boredom as such doesn’t exist. What does exist is an insatiable thirst to control reality - to somehow subject it to one’s own will. A game is a way of modeling control over reality. Birds that play with pine cones brings pine cones under the control of the birds. Skating is another example. “Reality carries me, but in the way I want.” Other games are similar. “Be what I want you to be.” The game script is predetermined, which makes it fairly predictable. All games can basically be reduced to controlling what is happening with one’s will.
Music, books, films, and shows are all swings for the heart and mind. All of this, including the imagination and dreaming, are ways of shaping reality.
Everyday reality is not boring because it is mundane. Everyday reality is boring because it is uncontrollable. It’s difficult to make reality conform to the rule, “Be as I want you to be.” Hence, humans try to hide from reality in games that are simple and predictable. Of course, there’s ultimately no hiding from reality.
Mostly, reality develops irrespectively of will. To every “I want,” there seems to be a “You cannot.” To every “Give me,” you will hear “You are not getting it.”
Transurfing is a technique for controlling reality without direct impact. However, this is not a game, but is instead real.
In order to control reality, you must at the very least know how reality is created. Every individual is the direct creator of the layer of their own world, but most don’t understand how this works. People don’t want to ask questions like, “Maybe reality doesn’t operate according to the laws we thought.” Instead, they stubbornly insist on having things their own way. As a result, the world is often not the way people want it to be.
Earlier in this book, reasons were given as to why people often get what they don’t want, particularly if the aversion is intense. When you fear or hate something with all your heart, outer intention will deliver it to you in abundance.
Nature doesn’t plot against us. It’s instead the excess potential we create that results in distortions which cause reality to work against us.
Evaluations of others based on comparisons create polarization and excess potential. Balanced forces then bring together the opposite ends of the poles, which is why others are gravitated who have opposing qualities. For example, married couples are often made up of two personalities that seem totally incompatible, as if this was a punishment. Also, in various types of groups there will be at least one person who will make your life difficult.
The tendency to discriminate is created by the wind of balanced forces that blow in the direction of your aversion. The direction the wind takes is determined by Murphy’s Law - you experience what you dislike. Some may protest that this has nothing to do with balanced forces, that “Some people just have no conscience.” Yet, there is no point in philosophizing about it. There is more to these situations than convoluted speculation.
Suppose that your neighbors are annoying you. Do you annoy them too? Probably not, but why? “Because we are like this, and they are like that.” And basically, “We are like how we are, and they are bad.” Yet, there are no good and bad people. Judgments are relative because they are based on comparisons. So why do you not annoy your neighbors? The answer may surprise you. The reason you don’t annoy your neighbors is because they could not care less about you. “Exactly! This is because they are bad people who have no shame.” With this attitude, polarization is switched on, which will draw ever more problems related to your neighbors. It doesn’t occur to your neighbors to make such judgments, or enter into a dependent relationship to you. Yet, if your neighbors did comparisons with you, they would find things you do that annoy them, transforming you into a bad neighbor. You will begin to annoy them in ways you don’t perceive, just as they are now annoying you in ways they do not perceive. The greater the annoyance with neighbors, the worse the situation gets from the polarization, as Murphy’s Law.
A characteristic that has a particular meaning, which is intensified by comparison, gravitates opposite qualities. Where there is one magnetic pole, the other will not be far away.
Polarization creates a whirlwind of balanced forces. People try to battle with the outside world instead of trying to reduce polarization.
All you have to do is follow the main rule of Transurfing: Be yourself, and let others be themselves. Loosen your grip, and give the world free reign.
The more you insist on your own desires and rights, the more powerfully the magnet attracts the opposite. It’s as though you’ve grabbed the world by the throat, and it is resisting – fighting, to get free.
It just makes things worse to pressure a situation or insist on something.
In the (hypothetical or not) neighbor scenario, try at least for a while to forget about your neighbors. Stop judging them, and instead pretend that they do not exist. Say to yourself, “To hell with them!” Rid the layer of your world of your neighbors. If you can break off the suction pad of your relationship to them, polarization will disappear, and they will gradually cease to bother you. If you manage to completely break the dependent relationship, your toxic neighbors may end up becoming your best friends.
If you don’t let go, you will end up walking around like a magnet that draws the opposite to you. And, it doesn’t stop at Murphy’s Law. The collision that occurs when opposites meet causes things to escalate even further.
Why though, does Murphy’s Law exist at all?
With people, opposite forces fight with one another, and if you don’t pull them apart, they will go on fighting forever.
When something throws you off balance, it’s as if it does so just to spite you. Things that pester you can gain enough momentum to become a major set of obstacles.
With traffic, it can be as though all other drivers are conspiring against you. When you are stressed out, others can irritate you at just the right moment when you want to be left alone. Many more instances like these can lead you to feel that the whole world is conspiring against you. The more tense you are, the worse it gets.
People are mostly driven by subconscious motives, which operate outside awareness.
Awareness is low when relaxed at home, but when in a group, people are more alert and concerned with self-control. In larger groups, a person’s actions become quite spontaneous, but have a correspondence to the overall impulses of the crowd.
When balanced forces bring opposites into collision, pendulums will do everything possible to inflame the energy of the emerging conflict - this is the law of the pendulum. All pendulum battles, whether they be domestic fights or armed conflicts, take place in accordance with this law. When the law of the pendulum is at work, the rational mind has no power. This is why the actions of individuals as well as governments seem to make no sense at all. In conflict situations, the individuals’ motives are under the power of the pendulum. This is also why we sometimes look back on our actions as if they were a dream, wondering how we could have been devoid of common sense and reason, and what could have made us behave so strangely. The reason of course is that a person acts without awareness. Consequently, when one’s consciousness is no longer subject to external influence, events are perceived from a clearer perspective.
Two partners can be happy together, and then ‘out of the blue,’ one partner completely changes for the worse. This is from being pushed into it by a pendulum.
Pendulums control the subconscious motives of people who oppose one another. The goal of course is to increase the energy of the conflict. People fail to realize that they are being pushed into conflicts that cause their behavior to be toxic. This is particularly evident in crimes of inexplicable cruelty. It is only afterward, when the criminal is in jail, that they become aware of their actions in bewilderment. “I do not know what came over me.” The criminal can recall their crime as though it were a terrible dream.
In the army with a group of soldiers, an environment is created with its specific stereotypes of behavior and patterns of thinking. This numbs the mind, and the subconscious becomes totally open to the zombifying effect of pendulums. Then, things happen to the bystander that seem totally incomprehensible.
Peace is an ideal that everyone believes in, but there is no end to war. Common sense doesn’t work, and evil prevails. One may wonder, where does evil come from?
Pendulums are a universal source of evil. You only have to observe for a short while for this to become obvious. Whatever the circumstances of any confrontation, events always move in the direction of the energy of increasing conflict. This can die down, and then come back with renewed fury. There are many different types of pendulums, but all are destructive to varying degrees.
It would be impossible to free oneself of pendulums completely, but people can avoid being puppets on a string, using conscious awareness to use these structures in their own interests. To break free, wake up and be aware of how pendulums are trying to manipulate. Understanding what is happening is half the battle. The power of pendulums is inversely proportional to awareness. They only have power over you while your consciousness is asleep in waking life. Above all, don’t get involved the destructive battles of pendulums unless it is necessary to you personally. When you find yourself in the crowd, leave the stage and stand in the auditorium. Ask yourself, “Why am I here?” “What am I doing here?” “Am I aware of what is happening?”
Another example of neighbors: Suppose your neighbors are playing music too loud. It’s useless to try to suppress your aggravation. Instead, find music of your own to listen to and/or find something to distract yourself with. If you can find something else to occupy your thoughts, your neighbors will eventually quiet down. If you get sucked into fixating on a source of aggravation, the pendulum has you. To free yourself from the pendulum’s noose, you must refocus your attention on something else.
It can be hard to get your head around the idea that there are entities that can control us. Whether you accept this information or not is a matter of personal choice. Don’t take it on faith either. Observe, and then draw your own conclusions.
Part of chapter regarding sex:
Whether we want to admit it or not, sex, and our relationship to sex, plays a huge role in our lives. It doesn’t matter if someone doesn’t have an active sex life. From time to time, everyone has flashes of thought that express their relationship to sex. There can be no neutral attitude to sex. Human nature will always reveal itself eventually.
Some people’s relationship to sex is annoyance, ridicule, and rejection. In others, sex is transformed into intention. If the intention is left unrealized, or is realized unsuccessfully, all sorts of complexes, or in Transurfing terms, negative slides emerge in the human psyche. Pendulums play a role here, as they want you to believe that you are less than perfect, and that you have ‘issues.’ You are deeply mistaken if you think you have difficulties with your sex life while everyone else’s is fantastic. This is an illusion artificially created by pendulums with the help of the media. If you were to take a stadium full of people and remove everyone who had issues, there would be no more people left standing than the fingers on your hands.
Even if you have friends who brag about their ‘sexual conquests,’ you can be sure that they have something to hide - not only from others, but from themselves. The question can be asked, “Why does something with such a simple function in nature create so many problems?”
There are very short-lived pendulums that are harmless, such as many people agreeing to make a certain kind of wave in a stadium. These are called “flash pendulums.”
An audience applauding a performance gives most of their energy to the ‘performance pendulum,’ and gives only ‘bread crumbs’ to the performer. Otherwise, the performer would ‘float up into the air.’ What does all of this have to do with sex though?
While two people are having sex, a flash pendulum emerges that swallows the energy. People in ancient times suspected or knew that a certain entity hangs above the act. Some followers of the occult believe that during the sexual act, energy is radiated that attracts various representatives of the subtle planes that settle in to have their ‘devilish orgy.’ Whatever people tell you though, there is no need to be concerned because the flash pendulum cannot harm you. It simply feeds on energy you are spending anyway. The real point being made though is that the main thing that unites sex in its modern-day form is the pendulum rule, “Do as I do.”
With the development of digital media, the pendulum rule has achieved total domination. At every step, the human psyche is constantly being subjected to invisible but highly efficient conditioning stereotypes of behavior and thinking. This is basically zombification.
Because sexual encounters are (mostly) in closed circles, the need for confirmation that we are ‘ok’ increases. If a person doesn’t currently have a partner, or if they’ve never had a partner, they start frantically searching for an example of how things should be. Of course, the media tries to answer this. Hence, this is where stereotypes of ‘how to do it’ and ‘what your image should be,’ etc, emerge. “He is tough and macho.” “She is sultry and sexy.” Pendulums want you to observe their role models, and do what they do. And of course, if you don’t match their role models, there must be something wrong with you.
“Do as I do” is the worst and most harmful pendulum rule humanity has ever invented. “Do as I do” means to change yourself and betray yourself.
The number of broken marriages is enormous, and the number of happy families that never were is perhaps even greater. The main reason for relationship separations is lack of sexual fulfillment. Of course, excuses are made for the true causes of their problems. People try to ‘do it’ the way they are ‘supposed to,’ which creates great dissatisfaction. People in relationships try to play the ‘correct role.’ Partners in intimate relationships compare their relationships to others, and they wonder if everything is working out right. As a result, sex goes down the tubes, because the nature of sex requires that it be relaxed, free, and devoted. Sex is the only instance when you have to become totally immersed, and completely forget about roles. When sex is natural and normal, it is a game played according to rules that partners make up themselves, without giving a moment’s thought to how others do it, or how it is ‘supposed to be done.’
Matters become even more complex when the notions of love and sex are confused. It is sickening to hear the often sanctimonious use of the expression, “Let’s make love.” Wouldn’t it be simpler to call a spade a spade? Sex is not love. Love is not sex. Are they compatible? They are, but that does not change that love is not sex, and sex is not love. They can be combined and they can exist independently of one another, but the pendulum rule stops this from happening naturally.
When following the pendulum rule “Do as I do,” people try to combine love and sex. The result is a kind of awkward hybrid.
Forgetting about artificial pendulum models and instead getting real, imagine a scale with zero at the center. The value to the left indicates affection, and the value to the right indicates aggression. If the arrow shifts to the left, it is love. If the arrow shifts to the right, it is sex. Whether you like it or not, sex is more about aggression than affection.
Many people are shy or fearful when their ‘devilish instincts’ are awakened, thinking that it is somehow unnatural. At first, two people meet, and at first their behavior shows no sign of being unusual. But then, they get a predatory glint in their eyes and start doing things that do not fit with… what exactly? Then pendulums come into play. On one hand, there are rules of decency that are inappropriate to defy. On the other hand, obeying decency makes it impossible to enjoy the full pleasure from sex. People want both. People then play certain roles to fit with the standard model. Fearing their animal instincts, they water sex down to what is considered to be a ‘necessary ritual,’ which brings about a degree of inhibition.
When two people should be letting go of the reigns, the pendulum rule won’t allow them to. When the arrow moves to the side of aggression, the need for reassurance arises - “Do you love me?” Couples desperately try to pull the arrow to one side or the other. All they really have to do is ditch the pendulum rule and let go of the arrow, letting it move freely in correlation with the feelings of the heart, and not the ideas of the mind. Some may protest that doing this reduces us to animals. Once again though, this is just the pendulum rule at work. Who sets the boundaries for where humanity ends and the level of animals begins? It’s not so much about where this level really is, as it is about each individual making their own rules, rather than following rules set by others.
As a human being, you have the right to establish your own criteria for humanity and decency. This is stated for those who have issues around sex, especially for those who love each other.
With partners, life is much easier when behaving openly.
If you desire something your partner finds unacceptable, let go of the desire to receive and replace it with the desire to give, and you will receive the desire you let go of. Also, use the Transurfing rule of, “Be yourself, and allow others to be themselves.”
